This week was all about settling into summer, and (hopefully) establishing a new workout regime. Turned out to be more like settling into hopefully establishing summer.
Monday: In a fervor of frustration at my lack of exercise from last week, I launched myself onto a Spinning bike during lunchtime and proceeded to sweat out every ounce of motivation over a period of 45 minutes. I spun so fast that the pedals started to feel like tiny prison mouths on my feet. That, combined with the raving barks of our instructor - who was NOT spinning, but pacing around on two feet - reminded me of the similarities I have found in the past with militant gym experiences.
The best moment of the day was realizing I spent my lunch break between my four finals in a healthy expenditure of stress.
Tuesday: Happy to have completed my second year of graduate school, I quickly caught up on the dormant sickness that had been waiting to attack for the past five months. Confined to bed with a nasty head cold and sheer exhaustion, I dragged my poor feet onto the elliptical machine and then switched to running as fast as I could to clear out my sinuses. I may have discovered a new workout motivation - the Breathe-Easy Routine.
Wednesday: Still fighting the residual sickness, I slept and slept and slept.
Thursday: Going into work, I did not feel like doing any sort of physical activity, but convinced myself to just do 10 minutes. after 10 minutes, if I didn't want to keep going, I promised myself I could stop. So, I hopped in the pool, and 10 minutes was all I did.
Friday: Nearly missed the bus out of the city to DC for brother's graduation ceremonies. Walked all over 34th St area and then did a hotel workout upon arrival that consisted of jumping rope (mimicking the rope, of course) in one place until my calves wanted to fall off. Worked up a nice little sweat doing that, and then did some sit-ups and push-ups. Still, I am never quite satisfied with anything less than a 30-minute regime.
Saturday: Graduation festivities and tromping around everywhere in heels. That counts for something on most days, except all the graduation toasts and meals made up for that.
Sunday: Cleaned house, in heels again (this wasn't on the original grad weekend celebration list), and literally swept up dust bunnies from the graduating seniors' apartment. That and walking around everywhere surely added up to a pedometer reading, but nothing in the way of cardiorespiratory...unless you count the sneezing from all the sweeping.
And then, getting home late Sunday night, I couldn't bring myself to write about the week, as I sensed I had failed somehow. I suppose the stress of completing my second year, coupled with the idea that I still have work to do, and there's no vacation I've planned for just myself...well, those things made me feel like I should just sit down and give up - or at least give myself a break. I'm still down about the lack of progress I can(not) see, and herein I'm facing (again) my termination point. This is usually the place where I give up and get extremely frustrated and refuse to subject myself to physical torment.
However, instead of giving up completely, I started a running group at the House. That, i suppose, was a step in the right direction. We'll start on Monday evenings. Hopefully, the new workout regime will find a way to create itself.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Week 8: Nothing Doing
I literally did nothing this week. There is a bevy of "shoulda-woulda-coulda"s running through my mind as I sit down to reflect on this week, but the cold fact is that I was unmotivated to workout this week and felt disappointed in my physical self. It's been 8 weeks, and although my colleagues have commented that they notice I'm slimming down, I can't see it - neither in the mirror or on the scale. I swear, the scale has not budged an inch, and my clothes seem to fit just the same. The only difference I can note is that when I do workout, I feel that I surprise myself with my endurance and capacity. Thus, I just couldn't bear to step into my shoes for a workout.
Monday through Friday were finals week. This fact alone *should* have motivated me to blow off stress in a healthy manner, but I simply gave up the mental battle to drag myself to the gym. I did walk a little extra during my commute, exiting one subway stop before my usual, so my walking back-and-forth each day summed up to about 25 minutes instead of 15. Still, instead of patting myself on the back about this small adjustment, I just feel lazy and pathetic. Although some trainers say to concentrate on the positive, to me, walking an extra 10 minutes each day (which adds up to nearly an hour over the week) is not enough. It was something, but then again squatting down to sit on the toilet could be something too. It surely doesn't replace a cardiovascular workout.
That idea, "not enough", is another hurdle I've been battling with outside my workouts. I wonder when I will ever be "enough"...healthy enough, slim enough, smart enough, creative enough, artistic enough...the train is endless. (I guess that's what my mom keeps calling my need for "perfectionism".) However, I've discovered that I get demotivated by the thought that I might never be "enough" - and when trying to achieve a physical goal, this thought is enough to stop me in my tracks and sit my patootie right back down. If I'm never going to be enough, then what's the point of chasing down an infinite result?
The resultant discovery is that it never WILL be enough, so I've got to find some other reason for doing it...namely, enjoyment. This week, I reflected on the fact that I was unmotivated to workout, something I should be enjoying by now. In my reflection, I found that I need to find more activities which motivate me because of the sheer joy I gain in doing them. That's the quest for this week. I know that I enjoy running (in moderation) and swimming (especially outside) and dancing (which I have rare opportunities to do). So, I'll just have to figure out how to motivate myself this week to seek out those types of activities in order to counteract the perfectionism mindset and re-boot my joy of pursuing this task I've set for myself.
Monday through Friday were finals week. This fact alone *should* have motivated me to blow off stress in a healthy manner, but I simply gave up the mental battle to drag myself to the gym. I did walk a little extra during my commute, exiting one subway stop before my usual, so my walking back-and-forth each day summed up to about 25 minutes instead of 15. Still, instead of patting myself on the back about this small adjustment, I just feel lazy and pathetic. Although some trainers say to concentrate on the positive, to me, walking an extra 10 minutes each day (which adds up to nearly an hour over the week) is not enough. It was something, but then again squatting down to sit on the toilet could be something too. It surely doesn't replace a cardiovascular workout.
That idea, "not enough", is another hurdle I've been battling with outside my workouts. I wonder when I will ever be "enough"...healthy enough, slim enough, smart enough, creative enough, artistic enough...the train is endless. (I guess that's what my mom keeps calling my need for "perfectionism".) However, I've discovered that I get demotivated by the thought that I might never be "enough" - and when trying to achieve a physical goal, this thought is enough to stop me in my tracks and sit my patootie right back down. If I'm never going to be enough, then what's the point of chasing down an infinite result?
The resultant discovery is that it never WILL be enough, so I've got to find some other reason for doing it...namely, enjoyment. This week, I reflected on the fact that I was unmotivated to workout, something I should be enjoying by now. In my reflection, I found that I need to find more activities which motivate me because of the sheer joy I gain in doing them. That's the quest for this week. I know that I enjoy running (in moderation) and swimming (especially outside) and dancing (which I have rare opportunities to do). So, I'll just have to figure out how to motivate myself this week to seek out those types of activities in order to counteract the perfectionism mindset and re-boot my joy of pursuing this task I've set for myself.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Week 7: Running Heaven
The weather turned great, then rainy, then beautiful, then cold. Luckily, the alternating days of temperature allowed me to run during sunshine sans showers hours.
Monday: Decided to try something new - not working out on the first day of the week. Result: I felt a nagging sense of anxiety all day, especially when contemplating how this day of rest might translate into a habit for the rest of the week.
Tuesday: Doubts allayed, as I got out running in the evening sunshine. I was so ecstatic to be outside, I ran for a full 35 minutes, including hills. I had my music on, and I literally felt like I was flying through the park. I had a ridiculous smile on my face, and I was reminded of a lifestyle I used to have in California, which made the workout bittersweet.
Wednesday: Rested, as the rain was terrible. Plus a full day of school and meetings for summer job (I'm running the Programs at the International House!) made for a lot of trekking back and forth to various locations.
Thursday: Running again, and this time with a friend. Nothing more motivating than running with a friend, and nothing makes the time go by faster!
Friday: Grotowski physical in the morning, and then a quick workout at the gym in the afternoon. I've become bored with the machines, so I've started watching TV on them while I trudge along. It definitely makes the time pass faster, but I feel better when I'm consciously tracking how the workout is going.
Saturday: Performances for class all day, and rehearsing. Skipped working out in favor of moving sets around on stage and tromping up and down stairwells for four hours.
Sunday: Worked out in the pool. Was really sluggish when I started, but once I started doing intervals, the time flew by. Yes, the fast lane again. It's getting easier.
I was mindful of my stress eating the week too. I've been minding a lower glycemic index during mealtimes, resulting in less blood sugar spikes. Helpful when I'm in late afternoon classes and trying to stay awake....
This week is finals week. I'm already feeling the pressure of juries and final performances. This semester, I learned 10 dialects, taught my classmates how to speak in a German dialect, performed on the main stage in two separate performances, won an Honorable Mention for an outside performance, perfected four different genres of songs, studied five different eras of acting style, completed six scenes and monologues, auditioned for next year's shows, and juggled a part-time job. Everyday, I take it one day at a time.
This week: taking it one class at a time.
Monday: Decided to try something new - not working out on the first day of the week. Result: I felt a nagging sense of anxiety all day, especially when contemplating how this day of rest might translate into a habit for the rest of the week.
Tuesday: Doubts allayed, as I got out running in the evening sunshine. I was so ecstatic to be outside, I ran for a full 35 minutes, including hills. I had my music on, and I literally felt like I was flying through the park. I had a ridiculous smile on my face, and I was reminded of a lifestyle I used to have in California, which made the workout bittersweet.
Wednesday: Rested, as the rain was terrible. Plus a full day of school and meetings for summer job (I'm running the Programs at the International House!) made for a lot of trekking back and forth to various locations.
Thursday: Running again, and this time with a friend. Nothing more motivating than running with a friend, and nothing makes the time go by faster!
Friday: Grotowski physical in the morning, and then a quick workout at the gym in the afternoon. I've become bored with the machines, so I've started watching TV on them while I trudge along. It definitely makes the time pass faster, but I feel better when I'm consciously tracking how the workout is going.
Saturday: Performances for class all day, and rehearsing. Skipped working out in favor of moving sets around on stage and tromping up and down stairwells for four hours.
Sunday: Worked out in the pool. Was really sluggish when I started, but once I started doing intervals, the time flew by. Yes, the fast lane again. It's getting easier.
I was mindful of my stress eating the week too. I've been minding a lower glycemic index during mealtimes, resulting in less blood sugar spikes. Helpful when I'm in late afternoon classes and trying to stay awake....
This week is finals week. I'm already feeling the pressure of juries and final performances. This semester, I learned 10 dialects, taught my classmates how to speak in a German dialect, performed on the main stage in two separate performances, won an Honorable Mention for an outside performance, perfected four different genres of songs, studied five different eras of acting style, completed six scenes and monologues, auditioned for next year's shows, and juggled a part-time job. Everyday, I take it one day at a time.
This week: taking it one class at a time.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Week 6: Weak 6
This week was a doozy. I can barely remember the past 48 hours...not by choice, but by the sheer quantity of events that have transpired. And somehow I think I got in enough exercise to constitute a worthwhile post.
Monday: (?) I think there was some exercise in the form of cardio. Also had rehearsal until 10pm. Yes, there was an 11pm workout in the gym that transpired. I lasted about 20 minutes doing a circuit.
Tuesday: Early morning rehearsal and work. There was swimming after work. No Phelps, but since there were some pretty young (re: under the age of 65) swimmers in there with me, and since I was leading them in intervals for most of the laps, I felt pretty good.
Wednesday: Rehearsals, rehearsals, rehearsals. Everyone was freaking out about the auditions for the Fall production (slated for Thursday), and since it's Shakespeare, everyone's doubly freaking out. I was trotting all over the place, racking up enough walking miles to make up for the lack of gym time.
Thursday: Auditions day, dress rehearsal for the festival performance, and more walking around the city. Auditions were nerve wracking, and I had to blow off some anxiety later that night on the treadmill. Cardiorespiratory training is getting easier...which means I need to increase the intensity soon.
Friday: Callbacks. As if 3 minutes of panic-inducing judgement in front of a jury of directors and producers isn't enough, now we get to endure four hours of it. In the middle of this, there is a festival performance and a rehearsal. Every two hours, I was somebody else. I plopped into bed at 11 that night without bothering to unpack my bag or undress...because just spending time in your own mind can be tiring enough at the end of the week. Spending time in four other people's minds will render you incapable of doing anything except brushing your teeth and crawling under the covers.
Saturday: More callbacks. They were quicker and less painful than the previous day's session. Another performance, the final one, at the festival competition (we won an award in every category), and then the bomb scare in Times Square simultaneously. Tried to swim beforehand, but the pool was filled with a swim meet for the kids...substituted working out in gym with carrying all our set pieces and props downtown from the theatre through the Times Sq mess. Sweatfest.
Sunday: Chilled out, had more rehearsal, but felt better knowing that this week I don't have to concentrate on any outside projects. (Nearing the end! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!) Hot and humid today, so after enjoying a candlelight supper ceremony at the House, went running along the riverside with the Czech opera singer. A good 30 minutes made me feel accomplished.
Mentally exhausted from these past few weeks, and more than ready for school to be over for the semester. A few more days until finals week starts, at which point I'll hopefully have enough steam to motor me through to the 17th. On the 18th, find me sleeping in the whole day and not answering my phone or emails.
This week: mindfulness of "stress eating"
Monday: (?) I think there was some exercise in the form of cardio. Also had rehearsal until 10pm. Yes, there was an 11pm workout in the gym that transpired. I lasted about 20 minutes doing a circuit.
Tuesday: Early morning rehearsal and work. There was swimming after work. No Phelps, but since there were some pretty young (re: under the age of 65) swimmers in there with me, and since I was leading them in intervals for most of the laps, I felt pretty good.
Wednesday: Rehearsals, rehearsals, rehearsals. Everyone was freaking out about the auditions for the Fall production (slated for Thursday), and since it's Shakespeare, everyone's doubly freaking out. I was trotting all over the place, racking up enough walking miles to make up for the lack of gym time.
Thursday: Auditions day, dress rehearsal for the festival performance, and more walking around the city. Auditions were nerve wracking, and I had to blow off some anxiety later that night on the treadmill. Cardiorespiratory training is getting easier...which means I need to increase the intensity soon.
Friday: Callbacks. As if 3 minutes of panic-inducing judgement in front of a jury of directors and producers isn't enough, now we get to endure four hours of it. In the middle of this, there is a festival performance and a rehearsal. Every two hours, I was somebody else. I plopped into bed at 11 that night without bothering to unpack my bag or undress...because just spending time in your own mind can be tiring enough at the end of the week. Spending time in four other people's minds will render you incapable of doing anything except brushing your teeth and crawling under the covers.
Saturday: More callbacks. They were quicker and less painful than the previous day's session. Another performance, the final one, at the festival competition (we won an award in every category), and then the bomb scare in Times Square simultaneously. Tried to swim beforehand, but the pool was filled with a swim meet for the kids...substituted working out in gym with carrying all our set pieces and props downtown from the theatre through the Times Sq mess. Sweatfest.
Sunday: Chilled out, had more rehearsal, but felt better knowing that this week I don't have to concentrate on any outside projects. (Nearing the end! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!) Hot and humid today, so after enjoying a candlelight supper ceremony at the House, went running along the riverside with the Czech opera singer. A good 30 minutes made me feel accomplished.
Mentally exhausted from these past few weeks, and more than ready for school to be over for the semester. A few more days until finals week starts, at which point I'll hopefully have enough steam to motor me through to the 17th. On the 18th, find me sleeping in the whole day and not answering my phone or emails.
This week: mindfulness of "stress eating"
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