Hunger Games

Running almost every day makes you hungrier, and at weird times.  And by weird times, I mean, like all the time.  It's a logical enough equation: expend calories, get hungry, refuel body's caloric deficit, resume life.  But I think my body is confused about when it's okay to get hungry, and when it's not okay to get hungry.
It feels sort of like having a sugar-drunk toddler hanging onto your leg while you try and answer emails.

"nuugghghhhhhh! fooooooood....!" it wails, throwing back its fat little head, shaking your pant leg.

It's 9:38am. I just ate breakfast an hour ago.  There was enough protein on my plate to kill a small Shetland pony, and somehow this hunger-beast is wailing for more.
Let's pretend it wants water, I think as I pick up my water bottle for hydration, let's hope that drowns out the feeling of my stomach walls collapsing in on each other.

It's unfathomable to me how I can have a full, macros-balanced, delicious breakfast, and then have hunger again an hour later.  It's not a fiber issue, it's not a protein issue; I can only assume that my body thinks it's operating on a different time zone.

Now it's 10:24 where I am, but it's apparently lunchtime wherever my stomach is, so obviously we have to start feeding again, or so I'm told by this tiny monster that has moved from wailing to teeth-gnashing.

11:15 rolls in, and it's now growling at me.  Time to seek out the nearest vending machine full of whole food proteins...
Whoops: that doesn't exist.
How about a cup of tea instead, I try to reason with my irrational hunger.

Have you ever tried to reason with a toddler?  Yeah, it's a lot like that:

Me: It's 11:17 and we can have a cup of tea with some milk in it, because you are not allowed to be hungry right now, so shut your little trap before I end up shoveling you full of Twinkies from selection aisle D3.

Hunger: nuugghghhhhhh! fooooooood....! nuugghghhhhhh! fooooooood....! nuugghghhhhhh! fooooooood....!

This has gone on for two weeks now.
And when you have a child behaving in this manner, there's really only one way to enforce discipline: you ignore the bad behavior.  You give it no respect, nor notice.  You let that little beast throw any manner of public or private tantrums, and simply turn your head as it exhausts itself, finally shuts up, and goes to sleep.
Eventually it will learn to be self-sufficient.

I'm surprised no one has put together the correlation between parenting and negotiating with your stomach, because for me, they are basically one in the same at this point - and it's enough to convince me to abstain from having children.  (Unless they are quiet monsters who will always operate on my time frame and do whatever I tell them.  But, we don't really get a say in that, do we?  I've been blessed with a rouge beast, and the irony is that there's no one to blame but myself.)

So, I'm proud to say that, after two weeks, not only have I learned to ignore my hunger pains, but the hunger itself puts up a fuss for about 30 minutes, and then gives up.
I'm hoping it's learning to feed itself.