The Sickness

It strikes exactly when it's not convenient.  I'm not sure where it came from or what caused it to magnify, but The Sickness hit me on Thursday night and has rendered me medicated and congested since then.  The worst part of all is that I have been coddling myself and have missed three runs so far.  Yes, the anxiety is killing me.  Yes, the thought of "what if this screws up my whole training schedule?!" has been running through my brain nonstop.  Yes, I have considered alternative forms of cardio - but my body has resisted wholeheartedly.

Consulting my Runner's World Women's Running Handbook, I am advised, under the chapter entitled "Overtraining" that I need rest.  Plain and simple.  The fatigue, low grade cold symptoms and lack of motivation are clearly present.  The trouble sleeping and slowing times were two tricker aspects that sneaked under my radar.  I assumed I just needed more sleep.  But knowing how much training I did last week, it makes sense I might have overdone it.

The hardest part about getting rest is that it's not plain and simple.  The constant nagging of "you should be running, you should be running" makes it difficult to get sleep.  And the deeper-seated fear of "your training will be incomplete, you'll never finish your race" is, I'm sure, contributing more to elevated stress levels than anything.
I felt guilty this weekend about calling in sick, about allowing myself to get rest.  It's not uncommon - the work mode around here is "go, go, go" so when I need to say "slow, slow, slow", it's easy to feel like someone is watching me and saying - "oh, taking the easy route are we?"  Bigger problem is that it's myself saying it.

Hopefully this Sickness will let up this week, at least enough to get me back on a machine of some sort.  The weather forecast predicts a warming up over the next few days, so I'm crossing my fingers that come Saturday I'll be running around outside in a short sleeves.   That thought alone is enough to lift my immune-system spirits!